A lazy day in a scorching summer once used to be - about eating countless mangoes , about lying on the bare floor to beat the heat and chit- chat for hours together – those sweet nothings !waiting for the “Geeta” ice- cream (for some reason , we used to call it ice-croat ) , plucking the chameli / aboli / paarijaat flowers and discuss the art of making gajras .. , dream of the combination and colors of the bangles you would pick next time the churi-wala comes .. ,oiling the hair and braiding them , waiting for Amma to finish her puja and apply the turmeric – sandal paste on our foreheads , waiting for the entire week for the Ramayana / Mahabharata episodes on the Television – DD :) ..
There never was a hint of boredom even in the exact sameness of every single day – we were never short of enthusiasm / excitement / fun / creativity – such was the life !!
But this life had a sense of satisfaction – yes at that age I could feel it. No complaints , no expectations , no negativity. No fear , no boredom. There were problems – one of the major being no electricity for 12 hours a day – very famously known as load shedding – but for 12 hours – either day or night ! But that never was a problem – we had other thousand things to do – well more or less the ones that I mentioned above and in one of my previous posts “Rewind" ..
And back to" now " – life has changed diagonally . The hectic routine , living alone , changing jobs, changing places – “I just don’t change my wardrobe anymore – I change my city altogether” is what I can say actually !! Where one goal is achieved by creating the next one – where one idle day would be considered as time killing – where doing nothing has started to leave me with a huge guilt. Surviving in the new place , new job , eternal immigration laws/ forms/ status worries , traveling on every single weekend . Being on the plane would inspire me once – now its started killing me – one emotion at a time.
But this is all we dream about , isn’t it. But the most funny thing about dreams is – you realize you don’t want it anymore / or want something else the moment you get it. I am not complaining – believe me - I am just asking – is this a good place to be at.
Where you just want to be with your family and friends , your loved ones – but all you can do is finding the right time to manage to talk to them.
Change is good but how much change can your brain take ? Cant you have atleast a single day where all you do is nothing !!
On the side note- I am doing good. This space is just pouring out the emotions , right ? And I am going to make this place more honest , more me , more what I think and feel and rather than worrying about who could be reading it ! And , I am on one of those planes – which make me all of this – so bear with it :) !!!
Edited to add : I had written all of the above crap last week – and this week I am on another plane. Nothing really happened between these two flights –so to say – but still a lot has changed.
I could get to see the most splendid view ever through my window enroute SFO – and yes , this certainly is the best place to live (don’t believe me , go ahead and Google it ) – and if I cannot be happy here , then I can never be happy anywhere.
Well , not just that , but a call to Mommy Dear is a solution to all problems – actual , created and fictitious :)
