Beyond Time !!

You meet people in every walk of life, at every turn, diversion and exit but out of all of those, just few remain with you no matter what how and where. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.  They share joys, sorrows, success and failures – in a way they become a part of your journey of life and unknowingly a part of you – your quintessential existence. And the best part is, unlike family, they are strangers when you meet them for the first time. But you know what, when I first met S, I always knew we would hit it off. His eyes though very naughty gave me that comfort – well, in the most embarrassing and uncomfortable first interaction. S and his group were ragging me and a friend of mine. No, we weren’t juniors (and that’s why the word “embarrassing”) we had just joined the class in the second year from Electrical to EXTC. 

But, with A..Though we knew each other through common friends, it took us a while to actually get started. But anyway, it was meant to be.

I don’t really remember when did we , AKS, become the kind of friends that we are today. Maybe the Bharat Darshan (where I was playing a tourist and A a RishiMuni) or Insearch (when me and S compered the event) or the two-wheeler race we had once (I was wearing a saree). Or maybe it was the phone calls. The endless and meaningless conversations over the landlines (we dint have cell phones back then). Somewhere between the studying for the exams (over phone, mind you (I remember once A help me reproduce one very complicated circuit diagram over phone since I dint have that book)) or helping figure out the syllabus to study, or writing those record books for each other (I wrote one entire course’s record book for S, with index), helping out in the practical exams (A would help with the procedure and I would mug up all the observation tables… God, we were crazy then).

May be it was all of that. But luckily, it dint end with college.

Helping each other finding jobs, celebrating the success, caring –sharing and worrying for each other, being possessive, we did start growing up together – unknowingly. We learnt sharing the silences. Understanding without words.  Accepted each other with all the flaws. We have seen our most beautiful side and the ugliest side without being judgmental. A one point, A and S created a fictitious situation and discussed how I would react to it..And they experimented that on me and I behaved exactly the way they thought I would.

We once made a pact, sitting on a bus stop – that we will, no matter what end up settling in the same city – and we all did sign it.

I remember once S asking me the question “Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? “ And we had discussed it at length without being aware of even how long or fast these years go. I don’t remember the answer honestly. And I don’t care anymore even if I am not even close to what I thought I would want to become. But I do know that it’s been 10 years now. A decade!! And we are all together. And at a happy place.

And from the gawky, awkward, confused, directionless but full of enthusiasm, curiosity, full of life 20s, we are now transitioning to the 30s..Well, all of that but in a toned down version still holds true but, but it’s just that we are a lot more comfortable in our own skin today.

We have all got wonderful life partners now who are generous and huge – hearted enough to understand this bond. Yes, we have had our share of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, questions and complaints – but we have grown out of it beautifully knowing and understanding each other better. 

S turned 30 today. And whenever he celebrates his birthday, he very cleverly induces his age on to and into us. So, I always live a life a year older than what I am – always. So, in a way, we all somewhere turned 30 this week.  These 10 years were legen.. Wait a minute..dary !!

And here’s to the coming decade!!!!

Dear S,

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!!

3 things I wish for you:

Wishing you a lovely life with your lovely wife / all the professional success which you absolutely deserve / and a lifetime of Salsa :) 

Bonus Wish – You come out with your “J-N” book :) 

3 things which I absolutely adore / admire about you : Your crystal clear heart and straight forwardness , your temper (I don’t remember having  a single fight with you in the last 10 years ) – disagreements yes , but fights – never ! , the brightness and happiness  in your eyes when you dance J

3 things I am thankful for –

The cake and the teddy on my otherwise boring and sad 25^th Birthday / for all the support , encouragement and confidence that you gave me (be it for compering / dancing / learning how to take the escalator or  my visa interview / wedding .

Beyond Distance !!

Back in 2004 – I had enrolled myself for a Post Graduate Certificate Program from the Pune University. After our first class of Digital Design was over everybody left the classroom hurriedly except me and her. We both continued working on a problem although separately , sitting on different benches. After about 15- 20 minutes, we exchanged a “Hello” and that’s how our conversation started – about analyzing and solving the problem. And that’s how it all started. Our Friendship I mean. From that day we started studying together which involved Solving our assignments, studying for the examinations etc. We were sincere, hardworking and determined. I was then staying as a PG and she was staying with her relatives.

We usually met at Pataleshwar or Chatushringi and studied for hours together. On weekends, our study day started at around 7:30 am in the mornings and we would study until sunset. No gossips, no un-necessary talks. Purely studies. I remember discussing complex concepts of Advanced Digital Subsystem Design / VLSI fundamentals and VHDL / Verilog code snippets with her.

Eventually we both did well in the exams and co-incidentally found jobs in the same company within the same team. And probably that’s when we actually started to bond beyond studies. We shared an apartment. She taught me many things and helped me become a better person, honestly. She ingrained in me the quality of cleanliness – trust me.. ! Every Friday we cleaned our apartment by sweeping and wiping the floors/ arranging the piles of clothes neatly / cleaning the kitchen / washrooms. I used to tell her every Friday – that it’s Friday and we should instead be watching a movie or dine out but no we had to clean the apartment on Fridays. I started maintaining a diary writing in every detail of expenses I made which again I learnt from her. Now don’t get me wrong. My parents had taught me all of that. But I was just too lazy and used to do it as a task because I have been instructed to do that and not willingly. She forced me to wake up early and accompany her for morning walks and watching sunrises. Every night I slept promising her that I would and then every morning would wake up to be the crankiest person and come up with different reasons for not getting up. But she won’t buy any of that and drag me literally out of bed.

At work, we had cubes right besides each other. We learnt the same things at work / had more or less similar assignments and would discuss it back home until midnight. Our Manager started calling us “Changu-Mangu” . I remember M telling me once then – “You know, you and her fall in Varan Bhaat category”. (So there are apparently three categories- Pizza / Pavbhaaji and Sadha varan Bhaat i.e plain Dal and Rice) Yes, and it was true indeed. Eventually S (her hubby) told her “You know what – you and K fall in BaavLat category” (Apparently anybody can fool you category) which also was sadly true. We took Rangoli , yoga and Naturopathy classes together. We also tried taking an unsuccessful Beautician class.

Anyway, with time gradually we started discussing about books / philosophy / yoga and Life! And each one of us started having an enormous amount of influence on the other in every aspect unknowingly. We became each other’s dumping bags (no –not punching bags!). Like venting out our worries / fears / problems / concerns / negativities – and the other would provide an unwavering support , patient ear and comfort no matter what. We were there for each other either mending the broken hearts or spirits.

Time flew. Circumstances changed. The journey continued. Studies brought me here and I left my job. With our busy schedules we did manage to update each other through emails and phone calls. I got her emails before my exams wishing me good luck and I talked to her in all her sleepless nights when she was expecting.

Be it the precious moments of getting married / buying homes / having babies (she has one now  ) we made sure that the other is a part of the process.

She was with me holding my hand (literally) on the toughest day of my life – sharing the silence and the pain. Yesterday, I got an email from her. She had lost someone close – very close to her. I felt bad that I couldn’t be with her physically at this point in life. All I was going to do was offer my condolences over phone. For which I had no words. With shivering hands , watery eyes and a very heavy heart I did manage to call her. And we talked. Knowing that I was struggling for words she did all the talking – answering all my unasked questions , assuring me that she was doing much better now after 15 days.Pouring her heart out . And making me realize that between friends distance doesn’t really matter . What matters is being there !!!

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