Life

Vaishali, the name still lingers in my mind…the eyes still haunt me…its been 2 yrs , n I had enough reasons in life to forget her…but her face is still vivid in my memory. I m talking about a 3 and a half year old whom I met in samparc, an orphanage in Malavali, near Lonavala
We(our office group) could manage to go there 2-3times in our pint-sized attempt of spending some quality time with the kids …
we had a chance of meeting around 80 children…every child special in his/her own way…how we got the idea of visiting the place, how did we conduct the sessions there is not what I wish write here…

It’s there, where I met Vinayak, a boy studying in 4th grade…he sang the “powada” (its type of folk song sung in praise of Shivaji Maharaj) with pride …
Later that evening while on our way back, I had a chance of speaking with the concerned authorities. And the first question that popped up in my mind was about the know-hows of at least some of the kids…I simply couldn’t comprehend how could have “he” or “she” …actually almost all of them, land in there….
I wished I could get answers to few of my questions…But, the answers were appalling. I so very wished them to be far more different…or maybe they were far better unanswered. Nevertheless, they were all real!!!

Vinayak’s parents had committed suicide in front of him, when he was merely a kid studying in third grade… they avoided facing AIDS and preferred facing death …But what was Vinayak’s fault…he had to face it all for no mistake of his… the gruesome memory of which was still very clear to him…no doubt…he remembered it cut to cut..Scene to scene…date and time …and almost everything that could have happened that day…
A trauma for his entire life…but I will always remember him for the “powada” he sung…with pride, courage and confidence…

Vaishali – the youngest kid who was 3.5 yrs old and who was with the organization right from the age of 2 months…she had a phenomenal magnetism in her…she had big, dark black eyes! What was astonishing about her was the way she gelled with everybody…with ease… she hardly needed any introduction …you smile at her , and she will smile back at you stretching out her arm , her fingers sliding gently in yours…without even your realizing it…
Vaishali was an unfortunate daughter of a sex worker…who was left with no other option but to leave her at Samparc..

Then there were Baby (she had landed there from a remand home, nobody knows how she landed up there), Jayashree, Abhishek (proudly donning the name …since he shared it with his favorite actor Abhishek Bachhan) …
Every child had an heart wrenching story…and everybody was fully aware of their stories…But the best thing was this didn’t at all hinder their confidence – to live life , to enjoy life , to learn different things…Everybody came up with variety of ideas when asked to picture their imagination…
Their past did not stop them for thinking out of the box, did not limit them, their creativity. They all had a dream of who they wanted to become after growing up…and again it wasn’t a typical goody-goody answer but real answers…

I can go on and on…

I know there are so many vaishalis and vinayaks …
I am pretty sure that somewhere it would have been extremely difficult decision for their parents too...
Its sad that how can circumstances be so bullying that you have to take such ghastly decisions…
As an outsider, I feel connected to them in hardly 2-3 meetings, definitely it would have been the most painful moment for be it Vinayak’s parents or Vaishali’s Mother…

Or may be I don’t know…

Today almost two years later, I still remember them all, and also the promise that I had made to myself…..

While saying a good bye, I was thinking of what I can get for them the next time I visit, was just trying to remember everybody’s choices, hobbies…trying to figure out how maybe I can manage to get some funds from people I know who might help, or may be some nice clothes…etc…my thoughts were suddenly stopped by Baby, who with 3-4 other kids came running behind me calling out my name.. “Didi, we wanted to gift you something…and she gave me a beautiful hand made greeting card …with a message saying “thanks for spending time with us…do come again”…

मन म्हणजे स्वभाव नाही

स्वभाव ग्रंथातले सूत्र दुसरे तीसरे व चोवठे

माणूस जन्माला आल्यावर त्याच्या सोबत त्याचा स्वभाव जन्माला येत नाही मुलाचे रदने त्याच्या अस्मितेचे द्योतक व जनक असते। हसने हे मनाच्या बीज भावाचे द्योतक असते। तिथून पुढे मन हलू हलू उगवू लागते। मनाचे बाल शरीर ध्वनि आहे।

अस्मिता, मन , प्रकृति आणि सवयी याने स्वभाव जन्माला येतो आणि त्यावर बुधिचे आणि paristhithi che संस्कार होऊंन त्याचे स्वरुप घडविले जात असते।

आपला स्वभाव नीबर आहे अशी ज्यांची समजूत आसते तसाच त्यांचा स्वभाव अदिकाधिक नीबर बनत जातो अ ज्यांना आपला स्वभाव संक्रमानाशील आहे असा वाटता ते शेवट पर्यंत स्वभावाची घदन घडवतात। आणि आशयहाती यशाची गुरूकिल्ली भेटते।स्वभाव जर स्वयम्भू असता , किव्वा न बदलता येणारा असता तर नीति-अनीति छे पाठ , किव्वा बार वाईट समजावून संगन्याची गरज राहिली नास्ति। हा थोड्या प्रमाणात स्वभ्हाव बाह्य गोष्टींवर अवलंबून असतो। स्वभावाची घ्दन शेक्दा तीस टक्के परस्वाधीन तर शेक्दा सत्ता टक्के स्वाधीन असते।आज कित्येक सुन्द्न्यान्नासुद्धा "swabhaav" म्हणजे नेमके काय हे माहिती नसते।

मन परिणीत होऊ शकते, बुद्धि तल्लख करता येते, अन स्वभाव बदलता येऊ शकतो हेच कोणाच्या मुलात लक्षात येत नही। मनाचा बीज भाव हा शरीर धर्मं, प्रकृति, प्राप्त्वातावरण, परिसर, अस्म्मिता यातून प्रकट होते। जय गोष्टीतून मनाचा जन्मा होतो त्यांच गोष्टींचा परिणाम पण मनावर सारखा होतो। मन जसे जसे अदिकधिक वाधिस लागते, त्से तसे ते अधिकाधिक आघात प्रत्याघात्क्षम बनते। साधारण पाचव्या महिन्या पासून हा क्रम सुरु होतो ते शेवट पर्यंत चालतो। ह्या प्रमाने मन हे जन्मबरोबर जनमत नाही, ते मागाहून १-२ महिन्यांनी जन्माला येते आणि मन जन्माला आले म्हणजे खर्या अर्थाने मांसाचा जन्मा होतो

मन व परिस्थिति हयात आघात प्र्यताघाताचा क्रम सुरु होंयाताच आपण ज्याला स्वभाव ,म्हणतो त्याचा बीज्भाव निहित असतो।परिस्थितीचा मनावर होणारा नित्य परीणाम आणि मन परिस्थिथि वर करणारे प्रत्याघात साधारण एक सारखेच असतात -ह्या सतत चालु रहन्यार्य क्रम अआतुना मनुष्य स्वभावाचे बाल शरीर घडविले जाते । पुढे मन व शरीर ह्याचे साहचार्य सुरु होते। प्रथम मनाच्या सवयी प्रमानेशरीराला प्रेरणा मिलते आणि पुढे शरीराच्या सवाई मनाला प्रेरणा देऊ लागतात। उदा: लहानपणी मन शरीराला व्यायामाची/योगसनाची सवय लावता। पुढे जावून हीच शरीराची सवय मनाला प्रेरणा देत। नियमित व्यायाम झाला तर मन प्रसन्ना रहता अथवा आलाशी शरीर मनाला आल्शी बनवता
ह्या आशय अनोंन्य प्रेर्य प्रेरक भावातुना मनाची घदन घडते त्यालाच अपन स्वभाव म्हणतो।

मनुष्यअच स्वभाव महअनला की तो, त्याची प्रकृति , मन , बुद्धि, आणि सवाई -असा दर्शाविता येतो पण स्वभाव म्हणजे मन नाही व स्वभाव म्हणजे बुदधी ही नही, स्वभाव म्हणजे इतर दुसरे तीसरे काहीही नही। त्याच्यात मात्र सर्व कही येता।

तर swabhaavaachi घदन आणि जड़ना ही एक निरंतर प्रक्रिया आहे।

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krsna

I happened to visit an Iskon temple here yesterday...

Since it was Sunday, I planned my visit to match the bhajan timings.. This wasn’t my first time to Iskon though…long back , when in India , I had attended few of the discourses. And had participated in the rhythm of “hare krsna..” jaap…
I remember the weird feeling I had back then listening to the name of our own lord krishna in a very western accent.. that too by Indians..!! So much so.. that I had ended up asking a question as to why don’t you call out “Krishna”, “Rama” the way it is instead of “krsna”…n “ramo”….??The answer never convinced me though….

Years later, I was here in the huge santum sanctorum of the iskon temple… never knowing how I got to know about it and how eventually I was standing there…

After 15 min of discourse on 3 verses from Bhagvad Gita…the usual bhajan started…
“hare krsna…hare krsna…”

Gradually the spirits were up, moods were elated, without my noticing my hands started clapping to the tune, and…..everybody present was so engrossed in the melodius chanting of lord’s name…the entire ambience transformed into a blissful procession …everybody present had lost their ”being” into “Him” …happily singing and dancing without being conscious of who they are …may be that’s what they call it “krsna consciousness movement”….I cud see everybody praying to krsna, irrespective of cast , creed, color, religion…everybody..!! I could see the westerners dressed up in Indian attire, all the women draped in sarees , with the circle of vermillion on their foreheads.. Even while getting married out of one’s cast, in spite of true love, people have so much of apprehension…and these women were happily married to krsna’s religion….loving him selflessly …!!

All my questions were answered…krsna, by whatever name you call, will always mean the same… …carry the same sweetness, same depth and same bliss…tears rolled down my cheeks as I smiled back to the lord’s contented face tapping my feet to the tune, letting myself be completely “krsna-may” (being-krsna)

Hare krsna hare krsna, krsna krsna hare hare…
Hare rama , hare rama , rama rama hare hare!!!!

Independence day!!!!!

Its my first '4th July' in US… and I stand here in my aparatment witnessing the horizon filled with the grandiose fireworks….. I felt the same happiness which I always had on Laxmi puja in Diwali back home… the city was full of colorful lights… the fireworks were indescribable…making different shapes , different colors rising in different patterns…and receding slowly some like shimmering stars, others like comets…disappearing effortlessly…..
I was awestruck seeing them…
The entire city was twinkling…Sears Tower standing tall crowned wd blue and Red color….Independance day special…
It reminded me of all the memories associated with our very own 15th August ... the morning assembly and national anthem , flag hoisting and school drills….and the way everybody flaunted a tricolor….

Today independence means much more to me… independence of thoughts, of choice , freedom of taking my own decisions , financial independence…! And I feel I am independent in true sense today….
I can set my own goals, decide my own boundaries, break the rules that I once set for myself…, can fearlessly stand against all the shackles of hypocrisy, can think of choosing right from wrong….I can move on wd life withouts carrying any “ifs n buts” …..

Today this independence means so much to me and I value every bit of it… understanding that wd it comes the responsibilty ….responsibility of making right decisions….rationally, without any prejudices… without compromising on any of the values…. Responsibility of making every dream come true…

Happy Independence day to me!!!!!

I am in love….

Its been only 6 months in the city of Chicago and I already feel a part of it…The city breathes…
I came here in the peak of winters when it was snowing heavily…the temperatures reaching to freezing -29 to -30 degree Celsius…the first day I entered here I felt the chill wud make me die…I thot I took a wrong decision of shifting my base from my very own comfort zone…

I remember the tree barks though so thick skinned letting the cold dry them out …every tree looked so dead…not a single leaf…I had almost forgotten the colour- green!! My some of the classes wud get over at 9 pm. The first time I had to take the road back home was itself such a scary experience…..only 3 of us…on the loneliest streets ever in the most heavy snowstorm I had never even imagined of…the usual 7 min walk took us 45 min to reach our so called home…struggling our way against the dreadliest winds…for a moment I had thot tat I wud fly…

The days , though very short, seemed endless…..our only hope was summers…

The only relief we had was the place we were put up…a home away from home……12th floor of a 20 storeyed high rise… the college , studies, assignments , events, exams kept us quite busy and we some how survived the winters sipping our hot coffees watching the city change its colors…

Everything changed for better….sun peeped in pleasantly…and finally our snow jackets were in… slowly the city revealed its true colors …it suddenly seems so lively everywhere…the city has its own beauty …the skyline- includes structures like sears, Hancock, Water tower and many more.. downtown, places like magnificent mile, millennium park, planetorium, museums…navy pier ..the lakeshore, lake each n every place gives you a different feel…is full of life…

I can see the downtown from my apartment…n I see it daily…I see it in the mornings and in the evenings… our coffees taste so good now…with the downtown view on one side and the lake on the other…every time I see it , I want to see it more…the unpredictability of the weather – at times rainy, n again sunny in a flick of time …will swing ur mood wd it as well …...

Omigod…I am absolutely in love with Chicago!!!!!!!