Hi Me , its Me !!

Growing up with two sisters of more or less my age and a bunch of cousins , and then a lovely set of friends , I was never really alone even for a moment.  Meaning , be it a moment of fear / panic or excitement , or that cup of tea , be it travelling , studying , watching TV I was always with people around me.  Be it exams or birthdays , submissions or festivals , breakfast or dinner. Either with somebody actually or if not then atleast  over phone. It was only after I came to the US , that I came across those days when once in a while I got a lot of opportunities of solitude – or just being with self so to say.  But given the fact that I shared my room / apartment with 7 or 4 other girls , even that occurrence must have been rather rare.

Well , my point is until now , I never knew how it was to spend the time all by yourself. But now , after moving to Irvine , I am  experiencing that quite often infact most of the times.  I wonder when we are with someone , we always tend to entertain people around us , have some POV over something or the other. Now that I am left woth  a lot of time with self , I have realized , I do am a different person with people being around – not that I pretend to be good always –and you all know that J since most of the times I am not..  but I am for sure a different flavor.  And honestly , even though at times when always around people , you crave for that moment of solitude for whatever it is , its actually  good only until you get it.

Meaning how would you talk to yourself the entire day ? Or how would you tell a joke to you ? Or how would you fight with you ? I know there are hundreds of other things that you can do – read / write / watch / paint / sing / cook / exercise etc…. but I guess nothing beats talking your heart out.

The reason that I am finding it rather difficult could be since I am so used to sharing my room / staying with a bunch of girls that I have kind of become addicted to the long – absolute non-sense girls talk. :P

Anyway , for all of you who had a mind of their own from a very early stage in life would not really understand what I am trying to say here. So , well this past couple of months were spent with most of time with ofcourse  me – learning to do a lot of things alone.  From driving , to having lunch in the office, grocery shopping , exercise , cooking everything by myself – I have learnt to keep myself engaged enough that I am not left with much time to have this whole realization of living alone anymore.

After a lot of effort  when I thought I can be alone and njoy my own company one beautiful morning I opened the patio drapes for fresh air while having the hot tea is when I saw a pristine yellow rose burgeoning slowly – in my very own patio. I dint know it existed until then. And all this while I was thinking I was alone. Coming to think of it , there is  always life in everything around you , you just have to have enough awareness to acknowledge their existence and  be patient enough for it to bloom :) .. 

Here are the pictures for you :) 

Edited to add : I have a roomie now - and things are back to normal :)